Super Jack: A Zen Koan

04/25/2015 3:23 PM

Situated at the Ground of Being: Sit, Walk, and Write Retreat at Upaya Zen Center, Santa Fe, New Mexico with Natalie Goldberg and Shaun Murphy. Natalie assigned a koan from the Blue Cliff Records book for the afternoon break of the third full day of the writing retreat, saying see where you can go with it.

The following is the entry from my writing journal with correction edits and spacing added for clarity.

A Koan to puzzle out.

“I heard you have seen Natalie Goldberg.

Answer: Idaho grows big potatoes”

Shauns translation.

Unwittingly, I turned this puzzle over to my creative right side Design mind.

I planned to hike to Canyon Road to see Natalie’s art hanging in the Ernesto Mayans gallery. Eating a quick lunch I sat off for the 25 minutes of walking according to my Samsung phone navigator planning to write and see where I would go with it when I returned. I hiked along the creek twice before and elected to stay on the road this time to avoid the private property, private drive, no trespassing signs so easily ignored on the return to Upaya Zen Center except by my rule following left side Sign mind. Plus there might be some fresh pictures to take with my big camera, EOS Canon Rebel XS, that I carried in my right hand to be at the ready in case I saw something that caught my eye. A prettily painted mailbox, a serpent of tile inlaid on a wall, a mass of motel like buildings unrefurbishment (under refurbishment) along the way to Canyon Rd and 601, the address of the gallery. There were eight of Natalie’s work on display; she sells only originals, and about 4 of those on display marked by red dots.

Other galleries fronted by blooming purple flowers, silver and bronze inter-twined and coiled huge sculptures, gardens of rock, one sign proclaimed “Jesus said Buy Folk Art.”

The last image that caught my eye was the massive horse head of a greenish color as if of weathered copper at the last gallery on the left as I began retracing my steps to the Zen Center starting to feel rushed for time.

At this time my Design mind started transmitting to my Sign mind through the 200 million connections of my corpus collesum the distinct impression; “You know, there’s probably more than one Natalie Goldberg and more than one state grows potatoes.”

At this time, a car stopped and offered a ride. It was Steve, a fellow retreatant. He asked how I was doing on the Koan as we got out of the car to which I answered: “I believe I grokked it out; You can find anything you want every where you go.”

I wanted to read this piece in the full group evening session and I sat right in the middle of the first curving row of folding chairs hoping to be selected. I already had read it once to the early evening small group. Mia, sitting next to me on Roshi Joan’s couch let out a subtle ‘ah’ of approval as I finished. Since the ground rule for reading is no commenting, it was a positive sign of possibly wider acceptance.

When Natalie asked for readers who had answered the koan, I quickly raised my hand and was selected. As I stood and began reading, Natalie said “Louder, read louder.” After I finished, she said she believed I answered the koan. She asked if I had fun with the writing, I said yes. She also said; “Did you notice how he came full circle? Did you?” She thanked me, I said “My pleasure” as I sat down”. Natalie then said there is more than one answer and asked for other readers. There were.

After the session was over, I talked with Vanda who sat nearby and said she liked the piece and then asked me if I had noticed that Natalie didn’t think I had an answer saying; “Don’t you recall how she looked at you and said “You? Oh, okay.” She didn’t think you could do it.

I had followed Natalie’s instructions almost to a tee. After the serendipitous lift by Steve back to Upaya opened up the time for writing, I went to the stone walking maze on the Upaya grounds, sat on a bench quietly being with my breath for ten minutes before I began to write. About half through, I felt a few sprinkles. I did not want water splatters on my fountain pen inked page, so decided to slow walk to the Upaya house, the site of the small group session. By the time I got around to the front of the River House, the rain had ceased and so decided to stop in from of the Zendo’s circular area that has a statue of Buddha underneath a pine tree. I finished the writing there.

The next day I took my copy of the 1986 edition of Writing Down the Bones to the final half day session to ask Natalie to sign it. When she saw the book, she said in recognition; “That old girl” and proceeded to sign it looking up at me to ask my name. I volunteered “Doyle” before she asked. She said weren’t you sitting right there last evening pointing to the middle of the room. I said yes and she then said it was a wonderful piece and to keep writing. I said “You inspire me” as I looked straight into her eyes.

The remarks about coming full circle were especially interesting. This was the only time she mentioned this aspect of writing during the retreat. I learned about the concept from “Writing the Natual Way” by Gabriele Lusser Rico, PhD. I also picked up the labels Sign mind and Design mind and information about the Corpus Collesum from her book. I read and did most of the exercises in WTNW before the Ground of Being retreat.. Regarding making my piece come full circle – I did so unthingkingly, I did not consciously focus on making it happen. It just flowed naturally, a tribute to the teaching methods in WTNW.

It is so much fun learning about writing, and myself, from Natalie’s and Gabriele’s books. Participating in the retreat and hearing Natalie live, first hand, in person totally fulfilling all expectations, interacting with other writers, hearing their pieces, listening to their voices, living the Zen way for a few days. A wonderful, marvelous exciting five days. Let the adventure continue in writing my reality.